People who grew up in a low income family usually display these 8 behaviors as adults

Money shapes more than just our bank accounts—it leaves a mark on how we think, feel, and act long after childhood ends.

If you grew up in a family where every dollar mattered, you probably developed habits that still show up today. Some of them might serve you well, while others could be quietly holding you back.

Let’s walk through eight common patterns I’ve noticed in my work as a counselor and in conversations with clients who grew up with less.

1. Being overly cautious with spending

When money was scarce, you probably learned quickly that a single wrong purchase could throw everything off balance.

That mindset often sticks. As an adult, you may find yourself hesitating before every purchase—even when you can afford it. A dinner out feels like a splurge. Upgrading your laptop feels “too much.”

I once worked with a client who had built a six-figure savings account, yet she panicked every time she considered buying new clothes. To her, spending—even on essentials—felt like she was gambling away her security.

While financial caution can be a strength, it can also keep you from enjoying the fruits of your hard work. As Warren Buffet once said, “Do not save what is left after spending, but spend what is left after saving.” In other words: saving is wise, but living matters too.

The key is striking a balance—maintaining financial responsibility without denying yourself the occasional joy. Sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is give yourself permission to enjoy what you’ve earned.

2. Feeling guilty about wanting more

Have you ever felt a pang of guilt when you dreamed about traveling somewhere far, buying a nice car, or asking for a raise?

This guilt often comes from early lessons: “We can’t afford that,” “Don’t be greedy,” “Be grateful for what you have.” Gratitude is beautiful, but it can become tangled with shame when you want to move beyond survival.

Michelle Obama once said, “You should never view your challenges as a disadvantage. Instead, it’s important for you to understand that your experience facing and overcoming adversity is one of your biggest advantages.”

The truth is, wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful—it means you’re human. But I’ve noticed that many people raised with less feel they need to justify their ambitions. They’ll say things like, “I know it’s silly, but I’ve always wanted to…” as though dreaming itself is indulgent.

If that resonates, try reframing your desires. They’re not selfish—they’re goals, hopes, and plans that reflect your growth. You don’t have to apologize for aspiring beyond where you started.

3. Working harder than everyone else

I’ve seen this time and again in clients who grew up with less. They carry a relentless work ethic, always going the extra mile, often burning themselves out in the process.

When you’ve witnessed parents working multiple jobs just to make ends meet, you internalize that survival equals hustle. That belief doesn’t simply disappear when you get older.

One of my clients once told me: “I feel like if I’m not exhausted, I’m not doing enough.” That mindset had her working 60-hour weeks at a job she didn’t even love. She didn’t realize she was confusing overwork with security.

The danger is tying your self-worth solely to productivity. Simon Sinek once noted, “Working hard for something we don’t care about is called stress. Working hard for something we love is called passion.”

The trick is learning to differentiate between working hard out of fear—and working hard out of love. You deserve to work in ways that nourish you, not just drain you.

4. Struggling to trust financial stability

Even after you’ve built a decent income or savings, there can be an underlying anxiety: What if it all disappears tomorrow?

This often shows up in small but telling ways: double-checking your bank balance, hesitating to take time off, or hoarding “just in case.”

I know this feeling myself. Early in my marriage, even when we were doing fine financially, I used to stockpile canned goods. It wasn’t logical—I wasn’t preparing for an actual shortage—it was just old scarcity wiring resurfacing.

And it’s not just in your head. A recent longitudinal study found that individuals who experienced financial strain during childhood report higher levels of anxiety and loneliness decades later—often nearly 20 years earlier than those who grew up feeling more secure.

Even when their financial status improved, the emotional residue from early hardship still lingered into older adulthood.

It’s not irrational—it’s your nervous system remembering what scarcity felt like. But it does mean you may need to consciously remind yourself: I’m safe. My bills are paid. I’m not where I used to be.

5. Being resourceful to a fault

One thing people who grew up with less are often brilliant at is making the most of what they have. You probably learned to stretch a dollar, reuse what others might throw away, and fix rather than replace.

This resourcefulness is a gift. It often makes you creative, adaptable, and resilient in ways others aren’t.

But it can also morph into stubbornness. I once had a client who refused to replace a broken office chair that gave her back pain—because “it still kind of worked.” She spent months suffering when she could have easily afforded a new one.

Steve Jobs once said, “Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.” Resourcefulness is a kind of innovation. But innovation also means knowing when to upgrade, when to let go, and when to choose the path of ease over struggle.

Sometimes the smartest resourcefulness is realizing you no longer need to make do—you can allow yourself something better.

6. Avoiding conversations about money

Did your family treat money as a taboo subject? Many low-income households avoid talking about finances openly—sometimes to protect kids from worry, other times because of shame.

The result? Adults who flinch at money conversations. You might avoid discussing salaries, negotiating pay, or even talking openly about finances with a partner.

I once worked with a couple who fought constantly about money—but never actually discussed it. Their avoidance was costing them more than their bills ever did.

But silence doesn’t make money stress disappear—it often makes it worse. Dale Carnegie once wrote, “Inaction breeds doubt and fear. Action breeds confidence and courage.” Talking about money is an action that builds confidence, no matter how uncomfortable it feels at first.

The first step might be something simple: asking your employer about your pay range, or sitting down with your partner to review expenses together. Small conversations lead to bigger confidence.

7. Overvaluing security in relationships

This one runs deep.

When you’ve lived through financial insecurity, it can shape the way you view love and partnership. You may prioritize stability above all else—even staying in jobs, friendships, or romantic relationships that don’t truly serve you.

I explore a related theme in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. Many of us unknowingly recreate dynamics of scarcity, clinging to relationships because they feel “safe,” even when they hold us back.

I once had a client who stayed with a partner she no longer loved because he paid half the rent. She admitted she wasn’t happy, but the thought of financial instability terrified her more than loneliness.

Security matters. But real security comes from both emotional and financial health, not settling for less out of fear.

8. Believing you always have to prove yourself

Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list. Anyway…

Many people who grew up with less carry an invisible weight: the belief that they need to constantly prove their worth. Whether it’s chasing status symbols, stacking degrees, or working twice as hard to get half as far, the drive to “show the world” can be exhausting.

One of my former clients worked tirelessly to climb the corporate ladder, but when I asked her why, she admitted, “I just don’t want anyone to look at me and see where I came from.”

As Brené Brown has said, “You are enough just as you are.”

Easier said than believed, right? But it’s true. Your value was never dependent on your upbringing, your income, or your achievements.

The challenge is learning to let go of the pressure to prove—and instead, living in a way that feels authentic, not performative.

Final thoughts

If you recognize yourself in some (or all) of these patterns, you’re not alone.

Growing up in a low-income household leaves an imprint—but it doesn’t define your future. The behaviors you learned as survival strategies can be softened, reshaped, and even turned into strengths with awareness.

The most important step is noticing the patterns without judgment. From there, you can choose which ones still serve you—and which ones you’re ready to release.

At the end of the day, your past may explain you, but it doesn’t have to define you.