8 awkward things people with poor social skills do in public without realizing it

Let’s be real—most of us have had moments in public where we’ve replayed the scene in our heads later and cringed a little. That’s normal.

But there’s a difference between the occasional awkward slip-up and habits that repeatedly make people feel uncomfortable without you even realizing it. Poor social skills aren’t always about being rude or unfriendly; often, it’s about small behaviors that quietly send the wrong message.

As a counselor, I’ve seen countless clients struggle in their personal and professional relationships simply because of these unconscious habits. The good news? With awareness, you can change them.

Let’s dive into some of the most common awkward things people do in public—without realizing it.

1. Talking too loudly

Have you ever been sitting in a café and overheard every detail of the couple’s argument three tables away? Chances are, they weren’t trying to put on a show—but volume control is something many people don’t realize they struggle with.

Talking too loudly in public makes people uncomfortable, especially in quiet settings like restaurants, libraries, or on public transport. It can also come across as dominating the space, which might not be your intention at all.

There’s actually a scientific phenomenon behind this—the Lombard effect, where people unconsciously raise their voices in noisy environments to be heard, often leading to escalating background chatter.

As Susan Cain, author of Quiet, once said, “We need to give ourselves permission to be quiet sometimes.” Tuning into the volume of your voice shows consideration for others and makes interactions more pleasant.

2. Interrupting constantly

We all get excited to share our thoughts, but frequent interruptions signal impatience or disinterest in what others are saying. It can leave people feeling unheard or dismissed.

I had a client once who genuinely thought she was “adding enthusiasm” to conversations, but others perceived her as rude. Once she learned to wait for natural pauses, her relationships improved dramatically.

The tricky thing about interruptions is that they’re not always intentional. Sometimes it’s nerves. Sometimes it’s habit. But regardless of the cause, the effect is the same: people feel like their words don’t matter.

Dale Carnegie put it best: “To be interesting, be interested.” Listening fully before responding is one of the simplest yet most powerful social skills.

3. Sharing too much personal information

There’s a fine line between being open and oversharing.

Talking about your medical issues with strangers at the bus stop or giving a coworker the play-by-play of your messy breakup? That can feel heavy for people who aren’t close to you.

Oversharing often comes from a desire to connect—but instead, it makes others pull away. Social psychologist Irwin Altman’s “Social Penetration Theory” notes that relationships deepen through gradual self-disclosure, not dumping everything at once.

I’ve seen this pattern repeatedly in my counseling practice. People who grew up without healthy boundaries often don’t realize they’re crossing lines when sharing. That’s why I wrote my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

In it, I explain that codependency and boundary-blurring often start with innocent behaviors like oversharing—yet they can seriously impact how others perceive you.

So, pace yourself. Share just enough to invite connection without overwhelming.

4. Standing too close

Personal space is deeply ingrained, even if we’re not always conscious of it. When someone stands too close in a line or hovers right over your shoulder, it can feel uncomfortable—even threatening.

The concept of “proxemics,” first introduced by anthropologist Edward T. Hall, highlights how different cultures have different comfort zones. But in most Western settings, keeping about an arm’s length distance is considered respectful.

If you’ve ever noticed people subtly stepping back while talking to you, that’s a cue to adjust your distance. It doesn’t mean they don’t like you; it just means they need more breathing room.

And here’s something interesting: research shows that when personal space is respected, people are more likely to feel relaxed and trusting in conversations. So giving space isn’t just about avoiding awkwardness—it actively improves social connection.

5. Laughing at the wrong time

Humor is a wonderful way to connect, but poorly timed laughter or jokes can land awkwardly.

Think of someone chuckling while another shares something serious—it instantly breaks the flow and can come off as insensitive.

I once witnessed a man laugh during a funeral service after a nervous cough—it wasn’t malicious, just misplaced. But the room shifted, and people remembered the laughter more than the heartfelt words.

This is where emotional intelligence comes in. Daniel Goleman noted, “Self-regulation is about controlling disruptive impulses.” Checking the tone of the room before reacting is key.

If you’re someone who laughs when you’re nervous, that’s worth noticing. It might help to practice grounding techniques—like steady breathing or counting backward—so you can respond more appropriately.

6. Forgetting basic courtesies

It sounds simple, but things like forgetting to say “thank you” to a barista, failing to hold the door, or ignoring someone’s greeting can come across as careless.

People often don’t realize how much these small acts matter. Courtesy creates micro-moments of connection in public life. And research from the University of British Columbia even shows that expressing gratitude boosts not only the receiver’s mood but your own sense of well-being.

Michelle Obama once said, “When they go low, we go high.” Small gestures of politeness are one way of choosing “high,” even in small, everyday interactions.

So the next time you grab your coffee, make eye contact, smile, and say thank you—it costs nothing, but it goes a long way.

7. Overusing filler words

“Like… you know… um… so yeah…”

We all use fillers, but when every sentence is padded with them, it distracts from your message and makes you seem unsure of yourself.

The problem isn’t just that it weakens your point—it can also make listeners tune out. In professional settings, it can damage credibility. In social settings, it makes people work harder to follow what you’re saying.

Tony Robbins once said, “The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives.” Sharpening your speech, even in casual settings, helps people take you more seriously.

A practical tip? Pause instead of filling silence. That moment of quiet actually gives your words more weight. And here’s the kicker—most people won’t even notice the silence, but they will notice constant “ums.”

8. Staring without realizing it

Looking at people too long—or scanning a room with an unbroken gaze—can feel unsettling to others. Most of the time, it’s unintentional. People might zone out, lost in thought, not realizing they’re staring at someone.

But from the other side, it can feel intrusive. Eye contact is powerful when balanced: about three to five seconds before looking away is generally comfortable. Anything longer and it may feel intimidating.

Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list. Anyway, if you’ve ever been told you “stare too much,” practice softening your gaze or shifting focus. Being mindful of where your eyes rest helps others feel at ease.

And remember, as Maya Angelou once wrote, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” If your gaze makes someone uncomfortable, that’s what they’ll remember.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, most awkward public behaviors come from a lack of awareness—not from bad intentions.

The key is noticing the small social cues: someone stepping back, shifting uncomfortably, or avoiding conversation after you’ve shared too much.

Improving social skills doesn’t mean changing who you are. It means tuning into how your actions affect others and making small adjustments that lead to smoother, warmer interactions.

And if you’ve recognized yourself in any of these habits—don’t worry. Awareness is the first step to change.

With practice, you’ll not only avoid those cringeworthy moments but also build stronger, more genuine connections in every setting.