The art of letting go of things that don’t serve us

Have you ever noticed how much crap we drag around with us, long after it’s stopped being useful?

I’m not just talking about the old hoodie sitting in the back of your wardrobe (although, yeah, you probably don’t need that either). I’m talking about the heavy stuff—habits, relationships, beliefs, and regrets—that quietly drain us day after day.

For a long time, I was a pro at carrying this kind of baggage. If there was something to overthink, cling to, or stress about, I was on it. It didn’t matter that it left me feeling restless and exhausted—I convinced myself that letting go would mean I’d “failed.”

But here’s the thing I’ve slowly learned: holding on to the wrong things doesn’t make us strong. It makes us stuck.

And life’s too short to stay stuck.

So let’s talk about the art of letting go. Because it really is an art. And the more you practice it, the freer—and lighter—your life becomes.

Why letting go feels impossible

If letting go were easy, we’d all be zen monks by now. But most of us are addicted to holding on. Why?

Because letting go means facing uncertainty. And uncertainty is scary.

We hold on to toxic relationships because at least they’re familiar. We cling to limiting beliefs because they’ve been with us so long they feel like part of our identity. We replay our regrets because—even though they hurt—they give us something to chew on, a story to tell ourselves.

It’s messy, but it’s human.

The Stoics talked about this thousands of years ago. Buddhism, too. Attachment is suffering. Yet most of us double down on it every day.

I used to think letting go meant giving up. That if I stopped obsessing over a failed relationship, or a mistake, or what other people thought of me, I’d somehow be lazy or careless.

But the truth is, letting go is the opposite. It’s one of the most courageous choices you can make.

The things we need to let go of

Alright, let’s get real. Here are the biggest categories of stuff that usually doesn’t serve us—and what happens when we finally loosen our grip.

1. Toxic relationships

We all know that one person who leaves us feeling like we’ve been run over by a truck every time we hang out with them. Maybe it’s a friend, maybe it’s family, maybe it’s someone you used to date.

I used to keep people like this around because I didn’t want to be the “bad guy.” I thought loyalty meant tolerating whatever crap came my way. But here’s the truth: loyalty without boundaries is self-destruction.

The people who genuinely care about you don’t drain you dry. They lift you up. If someone consistently leaves you worse than they found you, it’s time to let go.

2. Limiting beliefs

For most of my twenties, I carried around this quiet belief that I wasn’t enough. Not smart enough, not good-looking enough, not successful enough. No matter what I did, that voice was always there.

The irony? The belief itself was what kept me stuck. I was so busy living in “not enough” mode that I couldn’t see the progress I was actually making.

One of the best quotes I’ve ever read on this is from my friend Rudá Iandê. In his new book, he writes:

“When we let go of the need to be perfect, we free ourselves to live fully—embracing the mess, complexity, and richness of a life that’s delightfully real.”

That hit me like a punch in the gut when I first read it. Because that was me. I’d been so busy trying to be perfect for the world around me that I’d lost touch with the real Lachlan underneath it all.

Letting go of limiting beliefs isn’t about magically “believing” you’re awesome. It’s about calling out the lies you’ve been repeating to yourself for too long—and choosing not to buy into them anymore.

3. Unhelpful habits

Some habits look harmless on the surface. Doomscrolling before bed. Checking your email the second you wake up. Comparing your life to people on Instagram.

But stack those up, day after day, and suddenly you’re drowning in wasted energy.

I used to wake up, roll over, and scroll Twitter for an hour. It felt productive—like I was “staying informed.” But all it really did was make me anxious before I’d even had coffee.

When I finally let go of that habit and swapped it for ten minutes of meditation, I felt like I’d reclaimed my mornings.

Habits are sneaky. They pretend to serve us. But if you step back and ask, “Does this make my life better or worse?” the answer is usually obvious.

4. The need to control

This one’s tough.

I used to think that if I could just control everything—my career path, how people saw me, the outcome of every plan—I’d finally be at peace. Spoiler: it didn’t work.

Trying to control everything is like playing a never-ending game of whack-a-mole. You knock one problem down, and five more pop up.

Here’s where another quote from Rudá has really stuck with me:

“Their happiness is their responsibility, not yours.”

That single line has saved me so much stress. For years, I thought I had to make everyone happy. That if someone was upset, it was somehow my fault, and I had to fix it.

But the truth? You can’t control other people’s feelings. And the harder you try, the more miserable you become.

Letting go of control doesn’t mean not caring. It means recognizing what’s yours to carry—and what isn’t.

5. Past mistakes and regrets

We’ve all got regrets. The relationship we stayed in too long. The job we didn’t take. The words we wish we could take back.

I used to replay my mistakes like a bad Netflix show—over and over, hoping the ending would somehow change. Spoiler: it never did.

The past doesn’t need to be rewritten. It needs to be released.

What helped me was reframing mistakes as teachers. Instead of asking “Why did I screw up?” I started asking “What did I learn?” That simple shift turned regret into fuel.

The practice of letting go

Here’s the kicker: letting go isn’t something you do once and move on. It’s a practice.

Some days you’ll nail it. Other days you’ll find yourself clinging harder than ever. That’s normal.

A few practices that have helped me:

• Journaling: writing out the things I’m holding onto, then asking, “Does this serve me?”

• Meditation: training my mind to notice thoughts without clinging to them.

• Decluttering: letting go physically makes it easier to let go mentally.

• Rituals: sometimes I’ll literally write down what I’m letting go of and burn the paper. Sounds dramatic, but it works.

The key is to keep showing up. Bit by bit, it gets easier.

The freedom that follows

Letting go doesn’t make life perfect. It makes it real.

When you stop gripping so tightly, you realize how much space you’ve been wasting on things that don’t matter. And in that space, new energy, people, and opportunities show up.

For me, letting go has meant more peace, more clarity, and a hell of a lot less stress. I’m not carrying the weight of everyone else’s expectations, my old mistakes, or habits that drain me.

I’m not always perfect at it—no one is. But I’m lighter than I used to be. And that’s enough.

Closing thoughts

So here’s the question: what are you holding onto that no longer serves you?

A toxic friendship? A belief that keeps you small? A regret that eats you alive?

Whatever it is, remember this: letting go isn’t about losing. It’s about gaining back your freedom.

And the art of letting go? It’s a practice worth mastering.