5 subtle signs you are the boomer who is exhausting to be around

Generational tension feels almost inevitable these days. Think about it: millennials and Gen Z grew up with a phone practically glued to their hands, while their parents remember when only 60% of American households even owned a car in 1950.

The pace of change has been wild, and the way each generation communicates, works, and connects is completely different.

So when conversations between boomers and younger people sometimes feel strained, it’s often a mismatch in expectations, experiences, and even language.

But here’s the tricky part: some habits can cross the line into being genuinely exhausting for the people around you—even if you don’t realize it.

If you’ve ever wondered whether you might be guilty of this, here are five subtle signs worth reflecting on.

1. You constantly remind people “how much harder it was back then”

We’ve all heard it: “Back in my day, we had to…” Whether it’s about walking miles to school, paying off college, or surviving without the internet, these stories often come from a good place. You want to highlight resilience. But when repeated too often, it can sound like a broken record.

The reality is that every generation faces its own challenges. In 2010, the average cost of attending an out of state university was around $18,000. Much of this was financed through college loans which are still being paid off. That’s a huge financial weight for millennials and Gen Z to carry, especially given how wages haven’t kept pace. 

So while boomers may have entered the job market during more stable times, younger generations are battling student debt, skyrocketing housing costs, and an unstable economy.

When the focus is always on how much “easier” or “harder” things used to be, it creates a competition no one asked for. Instead of bonding over shared challenges, it puts up a wall.

A better approach? Listen to what’s tough for younger people today without immediately comparing it to your own past. Empathy goes further than competition.

2. You dismiss younger generations as “too sensitive”

Ever catch yourself rolling your eyes at someone’s mental health struggles? Or muttering about how “kids today just can’t handle stress”? That might be a red flag.

The truth is, loneliness and stress are hitting younger generations harder than many people realize. Figures from Cigna suggest nearly 8 in 10 Gen Z adults (79%) and 7 in 10 millennials (71%) report feeling lonely, compared to just 50% of boomers.

That’s not because they’re weak—it’s because they’re growing up in a hyperconnected but often isolating world, one boomers never had to navigate.

When you brush off these concerns, it feels like invalidation. And being around someone who constantly dismisses your reality? That’s draining.

Here’s the shift: instead of judging, ask questions. Try to understand the pressures of living life online, where comparison and criticism never stop. You don’t have to agree with everything to show compassion.

3. You dominate conversations with unsolicited advice

There’s a fine line between wisdom and lecturing.

Many boomers bring incredible experience to the table—decades of work, family, and life lessons. But sometimes, the way that experience gets shared feels less like a gift and more like an obligation.

If younger people can’t tell a story or share an idea without you jumping in to “correct” them or tell them the right way to do it, they’ll start tuning you out. It’s not that your advice is useless—it’s that unsolicited input can feel controlling.

Sometimes, people don’t want answers. They want to be heard. Instead of interrupting with advice, try asking, “Do you want my perspective, or do you just want me to listen?” That one question can turn an exhausting exchange into a meaningful connection.

4. You struggle to adapt to change—and make sure everyone knows it

Change is uncomfortable, sure. But when you constantly groan about “kids these days” or how “everything was better before smartphones,” it wears people down.

The world is always moving forward, and clinging to the past can come across as bitterness.

You don’t need to love every new app or workplace trend. But resisting every shift with visible frustration can make you seem rigid. And honestly? It signals that you’re not interested in learning.

Everything changes, and resisting it only creates suffering. When you adapt instead of complain, you model resilience. You also stop being the person people dread inviting to dinner because they know they’ll hear another rant about “the good old days.”

5. You expect respect without giving it back

Here’s a subtle one: boomers often grew up in a culture where respect for elders was automatic.

But today, respect is seen more as a two-way street. Younger people expect it to be earned through openness, kindness, and humility—not demanded just because of age.

When you dismiss someone’s ideas at work, mock their music, or roll your eyes at their values, you’re signaling that you don’t see them as equals. That lack of mutual respect makes it exhausting to be around you.

Instead, lean into curiosity. Ask why someone thinks differently instead of shutting it down. When younger people feel heard and respected, they’ll naturally reflect that respect back.

It’s not about losing authority—it’s about building connection.

Final words

Generational divides are real, and with the pace of change, they may be sharper today than at any point in history.

Millennials and Gen Z came of age in a world defined by smartphones, social media, and constant connectivity. Boomers grew up in a completely different reality. It’s no wonder misunderstandings happen.

But being exhausting to be around isn’t inevitable. By letting go of constant comparisons, showing empathy instead of dismissal, listening more than lecturing, adapting to change, and treating respect as mutual—you stop being the person people secretly dread. You become someone they actually want to spend time with.

And maybe that’s the point: no one expects perfection, but everyone appreciates self-awareness.