10 phrases people with poor social skills often use in everyday conversation

Having good social skills doesn’t come naturally to everyone. Some struggle with finding the right words, which often leads to awkward conversations.

It’s not about being intentionally rude or offensive, but rather about not knowing the best phrases to use in certain situations.

Often, people with poor social skills unknowingly use phrases that can come across as insensitive or inappropriate.

In this article, we’ll explore the “10 phrases people with poor social skills often use in everyday conversation”. This isn’t about judging anyone, but rather helping us all improve our communication abilities. You might recognize some phrases you’ve used yourself – I know I have! Let’s dive in.

1) I know, right?

This phrase is a classic example of how poor social skills can manifest in conversation. While it might seem harmless or even friendly, it can often come across as dismissive or patronizing.

The issue with “I know, right?” is that it doesn’t leave much space for the other person to express their thoughts or feelings. It essentially shuts down the conversation and makes it all about you.

The phrase also presupposes that you and the other person share the same opinion or perspective, which isn’t always the case. It can make people feel unheard, misunderstood or ignored.

Instead of using “I know, right?”, try asking open-ended questions to keep the conversation flowing and show genuine interest in the other person’s point of view. It’s a subtle shift in language that can make a big difference in how our conversations are perceived.

2) You should…

I’ll admit, I’ve used this one more times than I’d like to count. The phrase “You should…” is a common go-to when we’re trying to offer advice or solutions. But here’s the problem: it can come off as presumptuous and even judgmental.

I remember once telling a friend, “You should just tell your boss how you feel”, thinking I was being helpful. But my friend responded with, “It’s not that simple, you don’t understand my situation.” That was a wake-up call for me.

What I learned is that using “You should…” can inadvertently imply that we know better than the other person or that their feelings or circumstances are simple to navigate. It can feel dismissive and may make the other person defensive.

A better approach? Try asking questions or offering support without dictating a particular course of action. For instance, “Have you considered sharing your feelings with your boss?” This way, the conversation remains respectful and supportive.

3) Whatever

“Whatever” is a phrase that has evolved over time. It was once used as a casual, carefree response, but it has morphed into a dismissive retort that can quickly sour a conversation.

In fact, the American Marist Poll in 2019 found that “whatever” topped the list of the most annoying words or phrases used in casual conversation for the 11th year in a row.

The problem with “whatever” is that it often comes across as apathetic or even rude. It suggests that you don’t care about the other person’s opinion or feelings, which can make them feel unimportant or dismissed.

Instead of saying “whatever”, try responding with something more constructive or empathetic, like “I see where you’re coming from” or “Let’s agree to disagree”. This way, you show respect for the other person’s point of view, even if you don’t necessarily agree with it.

4) No offense, but…

This is a phrase that can set off alarm bells in any conversation. The problem with “No offense, but…” is that it’s often followed by a statement that is, in fact, offensive or hurtful.

“No offense, but…” may seem like a way to soften the blow of a harsh statement, but it doesn’t excuse rudeness or insensitivity. It’s like a preemptive apology for something you know might upset the other person.

Instead of using this phrase, try expressing your thoughts or criticisms in a constructive, non-confrontational way. For example, you could say, “I see this differently and here’s why…” This approach keeps the conversation open and respectful, while still allowing you to express your own perspective.

5) It’s not my problem

The phrase “It’s not my problem” is a clear indicator of poor social skills. It communicates a lack of empathy and responsibility, which can leave the other person feeling unsupported and isolated.

When someone shares a problem with us, they’re often looking for sympathy, understanding or help in finding a solution. Responding with “It’s not my problem” dismisses their feelings and concerns.

Instead of using this phrase, try to express empathy or offer help if you can. Even a simple “I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this” can go a long way in showing that you care. If you genuinely can’t help or don’t feel it’s your place to get involved, you could say, “I hope things work out for you soon.”

6) I don’t care

Now, this is a phrase that can really hurt. “I don’t care” carries a heavy emotional punch. It’s dismissive, cold, and can shut down a conversation instantly.

We often say “I don’t care” out of frustration or when we feel overwhelmed, but it can be deeply damaging to the person on the receiving end. It sends the message that their feelings or opinions are worthless.

In our hearts, most of us do care about how others feel. So instead of resorting to “I don’t care”, try expressing your feelings honestly. You could say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now and need some time to think”, or “I’m finding it hard to engage with this at the moment.”

Remember, being honest about your own feelings can foster understanding and empathy, leading to healthier and more productive conversations.

7) Calm down

“Calm down” is a phrase I’ve used in the past, thinking it would help defuse a heated situation. But I learned that it often has the opposite effect.

The problem with “calm down” is that it can come across as dismissive and invalidating. It’s like telling the other person that their feelings aren’t justified, which can escalate the situation rather than calm it.

Instead of saying “calm down”, I’ve found it’s more effective to acknowledge the other person’s feelings and show empathy. A phrase like “I can see you’re really upset” or “I understand why you’re angry” can help to validate their emotions and make them feel heard. This approach tends to lead to calmer, more constructive conversations.

8) Honestly…

At face value, “honestly” seems like a great way to start a sentence. It implies transparency and sincerity, right? Well, not always.

Beginning a statement with “honestly” can sometimes imply that you weren’t being truthful before. It can raise suspicion and create doubt about your sincerity in the rest of the conversation.

Instead of prefacing your statements with “honestly”, try simply stating your thoughts or feelings directly. Your honesty will come across through your words and actions, without needing to declare it upfront.

9) That’s stupid

The phrase “That’s stupid” is a conversation killer. It’s dismissive, disrespectful, and shuts down any possibility of constructive dialogue.

By calling someone’s idea or opinion “stupid”, you’re essentially invalidating their thoughts and feelings. This can make them defensive and less likely to engage in the conversation or share their ideas in the future.

Instead of resorting to “That’s stupid”, try to express disagreement or criticism in a more respectful way. Phrases like “I see things differently” or “I have a different perspective” can convey disagreement without belittling the other person’s ideas. It’s a small change that can significantly improve the quality of our conversations.

10) Whatever you say

“Whatever you say” might seem like an easy way to end a disagreement, but it’s often perceived as passive-aggressive. This phrase doesn’t resolve conflict; instead, it leaves things hanging and can cause the other person to feel unheard or dismissed.

The key to effective communication isn’t about ‘winning’ or ‘losing’ a conversation, but about understanding and respecting each other’s perspectives. Instead of saying “whatever you say”, try phrases like “I respect your viewpoint” or “Let’s agree to disagree”. It shows that you value the other person’s opinion, even if you don’t agree with it. This approach fosters mutual respect, which is the cornerstone of any successful conversation.