5 common habits that sabotage happiness in your 60s and beyond (but nobody talks about)

Getting older brings with it wisdom, perspective, and—if we’re lucky—a deeper appreciation of life.

But I’ve noticed something interesting in both my personal and professional life: not everyone experiences these years the same way. Some people thrive in their 60s and beyond, while others struggle with a sense of loss, stagnation, or unhappiness.

I’ll be clear—I’m not in my 60s yet. But as a relationship expert who has worked with many people in this stage of life, and as someone who has read extensively on the topic, I’ve noticed some clear patterns.

It isn’t always the big things that rob people of joy. More often, it’s small, everyday habits that quietly chip away at happiness.

And the tricky part? These habits often go unnoticed because they’re so common.

Let’s dive into five of them.

1. Isolating yourself from others

One of the most common habits I’ve seen is people slowly pulling away from friends, family, and community.

Sometimes it happens after retirement. Other times, after losing a spouse or moving to a new area. The intention isn’t always to cut people off, but life gets quieter and more solitary—and loneliness starts creeping in.

The World Health Organization points out that social connection is especially vital in later years. Meaningful social activities don’t just make life more enjoyable—they reduce risks of depression, improve mental health, and even contribute to better overall life satisfaction.

I once had a client who stopped attending her weekly book club after turning 65. She told me, “I just didn’t feel like I belonged anymore.” But over time, she admitted she missed the laughter, the shared stories, and the sense of belonging. When she finally pushed herself to go back, she said it was like someone “turned the lights back on” in her life.

If you’ve noticed yourself withdrawing, it might be time to ask: when was the last time I reached out to someone?

A phone call, a walk with a friend, or joining a new group can be the antidote to the quiet erosion of happiness.

2. Clinging to a negative view of aging

How do you talk to yourself about getting older? Do you think of it as a decline, or as a new chapter with its own opportunities?

This isn’t just about mindset—it’s about health and longevity, too. Yale psychologist Becca Levy found that people with positive attitudes toward aging lived an average of 7.5 years longer than those with negative ones. Your outlook quite literally shapes how well you age.

I’ve seen both sides. One woman I worked with used to joke, “Well, I’m old, so what’s the point?” That mindset left her feeling powerless and disengaged.

On the other hand, another client in her 70s told me, “I see aging as proof that I’ve survived everything life has thrown at me. Every wrinkle tells a story.”

Which of those two do you think seemed happier?

We can’t stop the clock. But we can choose how we relate to it. Instead of dwelling on what’s been lost, consider celebrating what’s been gained—resilience, perspective, and the freedom to prioritize what really matters.

3. Stopping learning and growing

Do you ever catch yourself thinking, “I’ve learned all I need to know”? That belief can sneak up on people in their 60s. After all, careers are often winding down, and the days of exams and degrees are long behind.

But learning isn’t just for the young—it’s fuel for a thriving mind and spirit. Tracy Brower, PhD, emphasizes that “learning is a sure path to happiness”. And Harvard Health reports that learning new skills—even something like a second language later in life—may slow cognitive decline.

You don’t have to take up piano or learn a new language. It might be a cooking class, photography, or just diving into books that challenge your perspective. What matters is keeping curiosity alive—because curiosity is the antidote to stagnation.

4. Avoiding new experiences

The playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, “We don’t stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing”.

And isn’t that the truth? When people stop seeking out new experiences, even small ones, life can start to feel repetitive and dull. It’s easy to fall into a routine that feels safe but leaves you unfulfilled.

One couple I helped had fallen into what they called their “comfortable rut.” Every day looked the same: morning coffee, a few errands, television, bed.

When I asked what they once loved doing, the husband mentioned travel. The wife mentioned dancing. They both sighed and said, “That was before.”

But with a little encouragement, they signed up for a local dance class. It didn’t just get them moving—it got them laughing together again. That joy bled into other areas of their life.

New experiences don’t have to be dramatic. It could be trying a different restaurant, exploring a nearby town, or even joining a new online group. The point is to keep life fresh, playful, and surprising.

5. Neglecting your inner life

This one often goes unspoken.

By the time people reach their 60s, they’ve spent decades caring for others—children, partners, aging parents, workplaces, communities. When the dust settles, they can feel unsure of how to care for themselves emotionally and spiritually.

I’ve noticed that when people neglect reflection, gratitude, or deeper self-care, unhappiness quietly creeps in. They may feel a sense of emptiness, even if their days are full of activity.

One of the practices I often recommend is journaling. Taking just ten minutes a day to reflect on what you’re grateful for, what you’ve learned, or what’s weighing on your mind can make a profound difference.

I had a client who began a simple gratitude practice at age 62. She told me, “I didn’t realize how much good was still around me until I started writing it down.” Her mood lifted. Her relationships improved. And most importantly, she felt more at peace with herself.

Happiness in later years isn’t just about staying busy—it’s also about staying connected to your own heart.

Final thoughts

If you’re in your 60s or beyond, or even just approaching that stage of life, the truth is that happiness isn’t about avoiding aging—it’s about embracing it with intention.

Isolating yourself, clinging to negative beliefs about aging, stopping growth, avoiding new experiences, and neglecting your inner life are all habits that quietly sabotage joy.

The good news? Every single one of them can be changed.

Start small. Reach out to someone. Try something new. Reframe how you see aging. Pick up a book that challenges your thinking. Write down three things you’re grateful for today.

Your later years can be a time of richness, connection, and meaning—but only if you consciously protect them from the habits that erode joy.

So, ask yourself: which of these habits might you need to let go of?