5 things you shouldn’t feel the need to explain to anyone

Have you ever noticed how often we feel the need to justify ourselves?

Why we said no. Why we made a particular choice. Why we don’t fit the mold others expect of us.

It’s exhausting.

And the truth is, you don’t owe everyone an explanation for how you live your life.

Yes, communication matters in close relationships. Yes, we should take responsibility when our choices impact others. But outside of that? You don’t have to shrink yourself to fit into someone else’s expectations.

Let’s dive into five things you don’t need to explain to anyone—ever.

1. Your life choices and personal path

Carl Jung once wrote, “The shoe that fits one person pinches another; there is no recipe for living that suits all cases. Each of us carries his own life-form—an indeterminable form which cannot be superseded by any other” . 

I’ve always loved this because it captures something we all forget: there’s no universal script for life.

Maybe you’ve chosen not to marry or have kids. Maybe you’ve decided to switch careers in your forties. Maybe you’ve built a quiet, simple life while your peers chase promotions and houses.

People will question you. Some will even try to “fix” your choices. But here’s the thing—your life doesn’t need to make sense to anyone else. It only needs to feel true to you.

Every time you start explaining yourself, you hand away a little bit of your power. So next time someone raises their eyebrows at your path? Let your silence be the explanation.

2. Saying no

This one is a biggie.

How often have you said yes when you desperately wanted to say no—just because you were afraid of seeming rude, selfish, or ungrateful?

The problem is that when we over-explain our boundaries, we undermine them. We give people the impression they’re negotiable.

Steve Jobs captured this perfectly: “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life”. When you say no to something, you’re not being unkind—you’re saying yes to what matters most to you. That could be rest, time with your family, or simply honoring your own needs.

One client once told me she felt guilty for saying no to weekend plans because she needed downtime. She explained herself in detail every time, listing her chores, her tiredness, even her budget. The more she justified, the less people respected her no.

Here’s the shift: “No” is a complete sentence. You don’t need a PowerPoint presentation to back it up.

3. Not being perfect

We live in a culture obsessed with achievement, curated images, and the illusion of perfection.

And so, we feel pressured to explain why we’re not “there” yet—why our career isn’t booming, why our bodies don’t look like magazine covers, why our homes don’t belong on Pinterest.

But let’s be real: perfection doesn’t exist.

Rudá Iandê said it beautifully in his new book: “When we let go of the need to be perfect, we free ourselves to live fully—embracing the mess, complexity, and richness of a life that’s delightfully real”.

Your life, messy and unfinished, is enough. No footnotes required.

4. The pace of your progress

Here’s one people rarely talk about: you don’t need to explain why you’re not moving as fast as someone else.

Maybe your friend bought a house at 30, but you’re still renting at 40. Maybe your colleague climbed the career ladder quickly, while you took a winding, slower path.

So what?

Progress isn’t a race. There’s no prize for rushing through life milestones. And sometimes, slow growth is the most sustainable kind.

Think about bamboo: it spends years developing roots underground before shooting up seemingly overnight. Your life might look the same—you’re laying down roots, building unseen foundations, and then one day, everything comes together.

A dear friend once told me she felt embarrassed that it took her almost ten years to finish her degree while raising kids. She thought people saw her as “behind.” But in my eyes? She was unstoppable.

Don’t explain your timeline. Own it. Every step counts, even the slow ones.

5. Your relationships and who you choose to spend your life with

This one hits close to home for a lot of people.

Whether it’s your choice of partner, your decision to stay single, or even how you choose to structure your family, people will always have opinions. And too often, we feel pressured to explain ourselves:

“Why aren’t you married yet?”
“Why did you stay with them after that?”
“Why don’t you want kids?”

Here’s the thing—you don’t owe anyone a defense of your heart.

I’ve seen countless clients wear themselves down trying to justify their love lives to parents, friends, or coworkers. And you know what? Even the most carefully crafted explanation rarely changes anyone’s mind.

Your relationships don’t need a PR campaign. They just need to feel right to you.

So stop explaining why you can’t carry everyone’s burdens. You’re allowed to choose your peace.

Final thoughts

At the end of the day, life gets a whole lot lighter when you stop over-explaining.

Your path is yours. Your boundaries are yours. Your imperfections, your pace, and your choice not to be the emotional manager of the world—they’re all valid without explanation.

Next time you feel the urge to justify yourself, pause. Ask: Am I doing this because it’s necessary, or because I’m afraid of judgment?

More often than not, you’ll realize silence speaks volumes.

Because here’s the truth: you don’t owe anyone a script for your life. And the moment you embrace that, you’ll find a freedom that no explanation could ever give you.