People who are trying to compensate for a low-income upbringing often use these 7 phrases

Growing up in a lower-income household, you learn to stretch every dollar, celebrate small wins, and sometimes carry quiet insecurities about what you didn’t have.

I know this because I grew up lower-middle class myself.

Now, as a relationship expert, I see countless couples clash over money—not because of their bank accounts, but because of the beliefs and habits they picked up early in life.

One way those insecurities sneak out? Through the words we use.

The truth is, people who are trying to compensate for their upbringing often lean on certain phrases to project success, worth, or control—even when they don’t fully feel it inside.

Let’s walk through some of the most common ones.

1. “I deserve this”

Ever caught yourself justifying a purchase with this phrase?

I’ve heard it in therapy sessions, often after a client splurges on something they can’t really afford. On the surface, it sounds empowering—an act of self-love. But sometimes, it’s really about trying to prove that you’ve “made it” after years of going without.

There’s nothing wrong with enjoying life’s pleasures. The key is to know whether you’re spending from a place of joy or from a place of trying to fill an old void.

2. “Money doesn’t matter to me”

This one usually shows up as a defense mechanism.

People who grew up without much sometimes swing to the opposite extreme—they downplay the importance of money entirely.

I’ve heard clients say this during fights with their partners, when what they really mean is: “Talking about money makes me uncomfortable because it reminds me of where I came from.”

But here’s the thing: money does matter. It matters for paying bills, building stability, and creating options. Pretending otherwise doesn’t erase the tension—it just buries it.

3. “I’m not like them”

This phrase often comes with a hint of pride—or bitterness.

It shows up when people compare themselves to those who grew up with more privilege. Maybe it’s said to highlight grit and resilience, or to dismiss others as “spoiled.”

I get it. Growing up lower-middle class, I sometimes caught myself looking at wealthier families and thinking, They don’t know what real struggle is. But that mindset can keep you trapped. It draws a line between “us” and “them,” feeding resentment instead of growth.

True confidence comes from knowing your worth without having to diminish anyone else’s.

4. “I don’t want my kids to go through what I did”

This one hits close to home for many parents I’ve worked with.

It’s a phrase loaded with love and intention. But sometimes, it can lead to overcompensation—spoiling kids with material things instead of teaching them values. I’ve seen parents work themselves into exhaustion, not just to provide, but to erase their own painful memories of lack.

When it comes to raising kids, the difference isn’t in whether they have the newest sneakers—it’s in whether they feel secure, supported, and loved.

5. “I’ll show them”

This one often slips out in moments of ambition.

It’s the quiet vow of someone who remembers being underestimated or dismissed because they didn’t have much growing up. And while determination can be powerful, this phrase sometimes reveals that you’re still trying to prove your worth to others instead of living for yourself.

I’ve worked with clients who chased careers or lifestyles not because they wanted them, but because they wanted to silence the voices of people who once looked down on them. The result? Success that felt empty.

There’s nothing wrong with striving—but when it’s fueled by resentment instead of vision, it rarely leads to peace.

6. “I make an honest living”

This one comes from a place of deep pride.

For people who grew up with very little, working hard and earning money “the right way” often becomes a badge of honor. My dad used to say this when he came home tired from work, and I could see how much dignity he placed in the phrase.

But sometimes, it can be used defensively—almost as if to say, I might not be rich, but at least I earned what I have. That defensiveness can creep into conversations and relationships, especially if there’s a hidden sense of being judged or looked down upon.

Earning an honest living is absolutely something to be proud of. The important thing is not letting it turn into a shield that keeps you from aiming higher or believing you’re worthy of more.

7. “Money can’t buy happiness”

Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list.

Anyway, it’s a phrase often said with conviction, but sometimes it’s less about wisdom and more about comfort. When you’ve grown up without much, saying “money can’t buy happiness” can be a way to soften the sting of not having the same financial freedom as others.

Here’s the truth: money can’t buy happiness outright, but it does buy comfort, choice, and security—and those things matter. What it can’t do is guarantee love, peace of mind, or purpose.

I’ve noticed that when people use this phrase too often, they risk dismissing their own financial goals. Happiness and money don’t have to be enemies. They work best when you learn to value both in their right place.

Final thoughts

If you recognized yourself in a few of these phrases, you’re not alone. Many of us carry the echoes of our upbringing into adulthood.

The good news? Becoming aware of these patterns is the first step to shifting them. You don’t need to justify your worth through purchases, deny the role of money, or push people away to prove your independence.

You can honor where you came from without being ruled by it.

At the end of the day, it’s not about erasing your past—it’s about integrating it. Using it as fuel, not as a shadow. And learning that true abundance comes not from proving, but from living authentically, with self-awareness and compassion.