7 signs someone genuinely dislikes you but hides it well, says psychology

We’ve all had that nagging feeling, haven’t we? You’re talking to someone, everything seems fine on the surface, but deep down you sense they’re not exactly your biggest fan.

The tricky part is that some people are masters at hiding their true feelings. They’ll smile, nod, and even act supportive—but subtle cues give them away. Psychology tells us that our nonverbal behavior, microexpressions, and communication patterns often reveal more than words ever could.

And here’s the reality: not everyone in life is going to like you. It’s part of being human. But it helps to know the signs so you can stop doubting your instincts.

So if you’ve been wondering whether someone in your life secretly dislikes you, here are seven signs to watch for.

1. Their compliments feel just a little “off”

Ever gotten a compliment that didn’t quite land right? Maybe it was too vague—“Nice work”—without any real enthusiasm. Or maybe it came laced with a subtle jab like, “Wow, you actually pulled that off!”

Psychologists call this “backhanded praise.” It’s a way to keep up appearances of being polite while quietly expressing disapproval. Research on interpersonal communication shows that genuine compliments are usually specific, enthusiastic, and congruent with tone and body language.

I remember a client who came to me puzzled by her colleague’s comments. She said, “He always says nice things, but it feels weird—like he doesn’t really mean it.”

When we broke it down, we realized the compliments were always either half-hearted or slightly undermining. That subtle tension she felt was her intuition picking up on the lack of authenticity.

If the words sound positive but the delivery feels hollow, your instincts might be right on target.

2. They mirror you poorly—or not at all

Here’s a little psychological insight: when we like someone, we naturally mirror their body language. It’s called “nonconscious mimicry,” and studies show it fosters connection and trust.

Think about chatting with a close friend. If you lean in, they lean in. If you cross your arms, they might do the same without even realizing it. That’s rapport.

But when someone is suppressing negative feelings, their mirroring tends to be forced, inconsistent, or absent altogether. They may fold their arms while you’re open, lean back while you lean forward, or avoid eye contact entirely.

One of my readers once emailed me after reading a post I wrote on body language. She said she realized that a friend she thought was “just reserved” was actually giving off signals of dislike—stiff posture, no eye contact, and zero mirroring. Once she noticed it, the relationship dynamic suddenly made sense.

It’s not always intentional, but the body has a way of betraying what the mind is trying to hide.

3. Their small talk lacks warmth

On the surface, they’re engaging. They ask about your weekend, your family, or how work is going. But something’s missing—genuine curiosity.

Instead of listening attentively, they keep the conversation transactional. Their responses are clipped, their follow-up questions nonexistent. It feels more like checking a box than real interest.

Dale Carnegie put it perfectly: “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.” When someone isn’t truly interested, you’ll feel that absence no matter how polished their words are.

It reminds me of a networking event I once attended. One man asked everyone in the circle about their jobs, but his eyes glazed over the second anyone answered. His tone was polite, but there was zero warmth. People eventually drifted away from him because that lack of sincerity was impossible to ignore.

If you’re sensing that someone’s small talk with you feels mechanical, that’s a clue they’re only being polite, not genuine.

4. They exclude you in subtle ways

Have you ever noticed someone “forgetting” to include you in group plans, or leaving you out of a conversation you’re standing right there for?

Social exclusion—especially when it’s subtle—is one of the clearest signs of underlying disconnection. Psychologists refer to the concept of micro-inequities: small, often overlooked acts—like being ignored, dismissed, or excluded from a joke—that send a louder message than words ever could.

These micro-inequities may seem minor, but together they communicate a powerful message: you don’t belong. Over time, that alone can erode emotional connection and trust.

And it doesn’t always look obvious. It might be subtle—an invitation that never comes, or a joke that’s shared with everyone except you. Over time, these “small” exclusions start to add up.

I once worked with a woman who felt uneasy with her friend group but couldn’t figure out why. When she started paying attention, she noticed that they often planned outings in front of her but never actually asked if she wanted to join. It wasn’t accidental. It was a quiet way of saying, we don’t really want you here.

If this rings familiar, it’s worth asking yourself if the pattern is consistent. Because occasional forgetfulness happens—but repeated exclusion is almost always intentional.

5. They show irritation in microexpressions

This one’s fascinating. Psychologist Paul Ekman’s research on microexpressions—the fleeting, involuntary facial expressions that reveal hidden emotions—shows how difficult it is to mask dislike completely.

Even if someone is smiling, you might catch a quick flash of contempt: a sneer, an eye-roll, or a tightened jaw. These tiny expressions happen in a fraction of a second, but they’re incredibly telling.

I once had a supervisor early in my career who seemed supportive, but I often caught the slightest eye-roll before she smiled at me. At first, I brushed it off as my imagination. But over time, it became clear that her polite front masked irritation. And sure enough, when a conflict arose, her real feelings surfaced.

As Maya Angelou once said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” Sometimes it’s not in the words—they show you in the flicker of an expression they can’t quite control.

6. They keep conversations surface-level

Think about your interactions with this person. Do they ever open up or share anything personal with you? Or do they keep things strictly polite and professional?

Dislike often shows up as distance. When someone genuinely values a connection, they’ll let you in, even a little. They’ll share stories, laugh with you, or make you feel included. But when someone wants to keep you at arm’s length, conversations stay shallow.

I remember working with a client who felt puzzled by a colleague’s behavior. On paper, they were “friendly,” but every exchange felt stiff and limited. Once she paid attention to the lack of depth, she realized it wasn’t about professionalism—it was about avoidance.

Susan Cain, author of Quiet, once noted that “Conversation is a way of connecting, not just exchanging information.” If someone consistently avoids connection with you, it’s a sign they’d rather not engage on a deeper level.

7. They display passive-aggressive behavior

Looking back, this one probably deserved a higher spot on the list. Anyway…

Passive aggression is often the preferred tool of someone who dislikes you but doesn’t want to confront it openly. Think of sarcastic comments, deliberate delays in responding, or subtle resistance when you need their cooperation.

Psychologists note that passive aggression is a form of masked hostility—it allows people to express dislike without taking responsibility for it.

A good example? I once worked with a client whose roommate constantly left messes in shared spaces. When confronted, the roommate would smile and say, “Oh, I just forgot.” But she “forgot” every week. The behavior wasn’t forgetfulness—it was passive resistance fueled by underlying dislike.

At the end of the day, if you notice someone consistently undermining you in indirect ways, that’s a strong sign of hidden animosity.

Final thoughts

Here’s the thing: not everyone will like you—and that’s okay.

What matters is learning to recognize the subtle signs so you can respond appropriately. Sometimes that means creating healthy distance, sometimes it means addressing the tension, and other times it’s about letting go of the need for universal approval.

As Brené Brown wisely puts it, “Don’t try to win over the haters. You’re not a jackass whisperer.”

Instead of bending yourself into knots to earn the affection of someone who’s quietly rooting against you, invest your energy where it’s valued—on the people who genuinely appreciate and respect you.

Life is too short to waste decoding fake smiles.