7 traits rich and highly successful people look for in their friends

When you think about people with wealth, power, or status, it’s easy to assume their lives are filled with endless options for friendship. After all, money buys access. Success buys networks.

But anyone who’s been in those circles—or even glimpsed them—knows the truth is more complicated.

The richer and more successful someone becomes, the harder it is to trust the motives of others. Are they there for you—or for what you represent?

That’s why friendships at this level tend to be more carefully chosen, not because successful people are cold or selective for the sake of it, but because their emotional well-being depends on surrounding themselves with people who genuinely add value to their lives.

What they look for in friends might not be what you’d expect. In fact, it’s often the same qualities we all crave—just magnified by the challenges that wealth and success bring.

Here are seven traits that rich and highly successful people tend to value deeply in their friendships.

1. Trustworthiness in both quiet and chaos

Trust is always the foundation of a meaningful relationship, but for highly successful people, it becomes non-negotiable.

Money and status can attract people who see friendship as a transaction. If you’ve ever had someone betray your confidence or share your personal story in ways you didn’t approve, imagine how much worse it feels when your life is under a microscope.

Trust is “the expectation that someone can be relied upon” even when the outcome is uncertain. For those with wealth, uncertainty is constant—whether in business, in relationships, or in public perception. Friends who prove trustworthy through both calm and chaos earn a rare and enduring place.

Oprah Winfrey once said, “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” That kind of loyalty is hard to fake. It shows up in the friend who doesn’t disappear when circumstances shift, who stands beside you even when there’s nothing to gain.

For highly successful people, those moments become defining tests of character.

2. Discretion that protects emotional space

Discretion isn’t about secrecy—it’s about safety.

For rich and successful people, discretion often matters more than admiration. It’s easy to find people who will celebrate their wins publicly. What’s harder is finding those who know when to stay silent.

A friend with discretion doesn’t see someone’s life as content. They don’t drop hints in conversations about “knowing” certain people.

They don’t screenshot texts for entertainment. They hold emotional space where their friend can let down the mask.

For those living under scrutiny—whether from colleagues, the public, or even extended family—that kind of discretion is not just a nice trait, but an essential one.

3. Alignment in values, not income

It’s easy to assume rich people only want other rich people around them. But the truth is, many highly successful people look for alignment in values, not in income.

I learned this firsthand years ago when I caught up with an old friend who had done very well for himself. He was living in a sleek apartment, traveling often for work, and moving in circles I could only glimpse from the outside.

By contrast, I was in a very different place—working long hours, still trying to find my footing financially, and wondering if our lives had drifted too far apart to stay connected.

But when we sat down to talk, the conversation didn’t center on status symbols or lifestyle differences. Instead, it turned toward purpose, relationships, and the kind of legacy we wanted to leave behind.

Despite the gulf in our bank balances, I realized we still shared the same core values: a desire to grow, to contribute, and to live with integrity.

That moment taught me something powerful: alignment in values bridges the gap that money creates.

For wealthy or accomplished people, this kind of resonance matters more than whether you vacation in the same places or drive the same car. It’s the shared principles—how you treat people, what you prioritize, how you define success—that make a friendship enduring.

4. Emotional authenticity, even when it’s messy

Being highly successful can sometimes make people feel like they’re performing. In boardrooms, on stages, or even at family gatherings, there’s pressure to present a polished version of yourself.

That’s why authenticity in friendships is so valued.

A real friend doesn’t sugarcoat their feelings or put on a mask to impress. They’re comfortable admitting they’re scared, anxious, or uncertain.

Emotional authenticity creates a safe space for vulnerability—a reminder that no amount of money insulates you from being human.

5. Generosity in spirit, not spending

When money is no longer scarce, the kind of generosity that matters most has little to do with buying rounds of drinks or showering people with gifts.

What counts is generosity of spirit.

This means being generous with time, with presence, with patience. It’s the friend who remembers to check in during stressful weeks, who listens more than they talk, who doesn’t keep score of who initiated last.

Generosity also shows up in the willingness to celebrate others without envy.

Highly successful people often face hidden competition—even among peers. A truly generous friend celebrates your wins without needing to diminish them, while still feeling free to share their own journey.

In a world where many relationships can become transactional, generosity of spirit stands out as rare and refreshing.

6. Grounding normalcy when everything else feels staged

One of the biggest challenges of success is that life can start to feel staged. There are events, curated images, rehearsed speeches. Even dinners can sometimes feel like networking disguised as leisure.

That’s why normalcy in friendship is so treasured.

I remember being invited once to a friend’s home who had clearly “made it.” Their life looked polished—expensive car in the driveway, art on the walls, everything curated with a kind of effortless luxury.

I’ll admit, part of me felt out of place, like I had to measure my words or act a certain way to belong.

Turns out, I didn’t have to do that. Instead of showing off, my friend ordered in takeout, put on some old music, and we ended up laughing about the same silly things we used to joke about years earlier.

For a few hours, all the wealth and polish faded into the background. It was just two people sharing food and conversation.

What I learned was that the richest kind of connection doesn’t come from matching lifestyles—it comes from stripping them away.

For the rich and successful, friends who bring that sense of grounding normalcy are rare. They don’t care about your image or your bank balance; they just want to enjoy your company for what it is.

They don’t want constant reminders of image or status. They want someone who allows them to simply be—messy, casual, human.

7. Inspiration without comparison

Finally, friendships at this level thrive when they inspire rather than compete.

Social comparison theory suggests we naturally measure ourselves against others. But in healthy friendships, inspiration replaces comparison.

A friend who inspires doesn’t trigger insecurity; they ignite curiosity. They might introduce you to a new perspective, challenge you to think differently, or embody qualities you admire—kindness, resilience, creativity.

Wealthy and successful people enjoy these kinds of friendships because they prevent stagnation. They bring growth without pressure.

It’s not about finding someone “better” or “more successful.” It’s about finding someone who helps you expand, not shrink.

Final thoughts

The traits rich and highly successful people look for in friendships are not superficial. They’re deeply human: trust, discretion, values, authenticity, generosity, normalcy, and inspiration.

And here’s the truth: these aren’t traits that only the wealthy need. They’re traits we all benefit from. The difference is that wealth and success often strip away the distractions and expose what truly matters.

So maybe the real question is less about what rich people want in their friends—and more about whether we’re cultivating those same traits in ourselves.

After all, the greatest wealth in life isn’t money or success. It’s the relationships that remind us who we are.