As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve spent years studying the science of love and companionship. Through my research, I’ve discovered that the happiest relationships are often with men who exhibit certain behaviors.
These eight behaviors, backed by psychology, aren’t about grand gestures or fairy-tale romances. Instead, they’re about consistency, respect, and genuine affection.
If you’re ready for the happiest relationship of your life, keep an eye out for a man who displays these eight behaviors. Remember, love isn’t about finding the perfect person—it’s about finding the person who’s perfect for you.
Let’s get started.
1) He shows respect
Respect is the cornerstone of any successful relationship, whether it’s romantic, familial, or friendly.
This is a concept that’s been echoed by countless psychologists and relationship experts over the years. A man who respects you will value your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. He’ll take the time to listen to you and consider your perspective.
But respect goes beyond just listening. It also means recognizing your individuality and appreciating you for who you are – flaws and all.
If a man truly respects you, he’ll treat you as an equal and make decisions with you, not for you. This type of respect fosters a healthy relationship where both partners feel valued and heard.
When looking for a happy relationship, keep an eye out for a man who displays consistent respect. It’s a simple behavior that holds immense significance in building a strong bond.
2) He communicates effectively
As someone who’s been in the relationship field for years, I can’t stress enough the importance of effective communication.
A man who communicates well doesn’t just talk – he listens. He’s open about his feelings and encourages you to do the same. This doesn’t mean that every conversation has to be deep and meaningful. Sometimes, the most comforting conversations are about the little things in life.
Remember, as the legendary George Bernard Shaw once said, “The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”
A man who truly understands this knows that communication isn’t just about speaking; it’s also about ensuring that the message is received and understood. It’s about creating a safe space where both of you can express your feelings without judgment or fear.
Consistent, effective communication builds trust and fosters understanding – two essential ingredients for a happy relationship.
3) He values your independence
In my years of relationship coaching, I’ve seen too many women lose themselves in their relationships. They become so entwined with their partners that they forget who they are as individuals. This, my friends, is a recipe for an unhealthy, codependent relationship.
Now, a man who values your independence encourages you to pursue your passions and maintain your personal space. He understands that you have a life outside of the relationship and encourages you to nurture it.
In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve deeper into the importance of maintaining one’s identity and independence in a relationship.
A man who respects and supports your independence contributes significantly to the potential happiness of your relationship. So, hold on to a man who encourages you to be yourself and enjoy your own life alongside your shared one.
4) He embraces conflict
Yes, you read that right. A man who is not afraid of conflict is a man who is invested in the health of your relationship.
Many assume that a happy relationship is one without arguments or disagreements. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. In fact, conflict avoidance can be a sign of emotional distancing and lack of engagement.
A man who embraces conflict understands that disagreements are inevitable in any relationship. Rather than avoiding them, he faces them head-on, using them as opportunities for growth and understanding.
He isn’t interested in ‘winning’ an argument but in understanding your point of view and finding a solution that satisfies both parties. This approach to conflict helps maintain a sense of fairness and equality in the relationship while facilitating emotional growth.
Contrary to popular belief, don’t shy away from a man who isn’t afraid of a little argument now and then. It might just mean he’s more invested in the relationship than you think.
5) He appreciates the small things
Over the years, I’ve come to realize that men who appreciate the small things often make the best partners. They’re the ones who remember how you take your coffee, who notice when you’ve changed your hair, or who take time to appreciate the way your eyes light up when you’re talking about something you love.
Appreciation is a powerful thing. It’s an affirmation of the love and respect he has for you. It shows that he truly values you and the life you share together.
A man who appreciates the small things isn’t necessarily grandiose in his gestures. But his consistent attention to detail and recognition of your shared experiences can create a deep bond of intimacy and contentment.
In your quest for a happy relationship, remember to value a man who appreciates the small things in life – those are often the most meaningful.
6) He’s not perfect, and he doesn’t pretend to be
The truth is, no one is perfect, and anyone who pretends to be is probably hiding something. A man who acknowledges his imperfections is a man who embraces authenticity.
He doesn’t shy away from his mistakes; instead, he learns from them. He owns up to his flaws and works on them, not because he feels inadequate, but because he understands the value of growth and self-improvement.
A man who doesn’t pretend to be perfect is a man who won’t expect perfection from you. He will understand your flaws and mistakes, offering love and support instead of judgment.
If you’re searching for the happiest relationship of your life, look for a man who is beautifully flawed, just like you. Because in reality, it’s our imperfections that make us human and our acceptance of them that makes us mature.
7) He makes you feel safe
Throughout my years as a relationship expert, I’ve come to understand that feeling safe is integral to a happy, thriving relationship. This doesn’t just mean physical safety, but emotional safety as well.
A man who makes you feel safe is one who creates a space where you can be your authentic self, express your feelings, and share your fears without judgment or ridicule. He’s someone who provides reassurance in moments of doubt and stands by your side through thick and thin.
As the great poet Maya Angelou once said, “I long, as does every human being, to be at home wherever I find myself.” A man who makes you feel safe offers you that ‘home,’ that sanctuary where love, trust, and comfort reside.
When looking for a happy relationship, find a man who makes you feel safe – physically, emotionally, and mentally. This sense of safety can create a deep bond of trust and intimacy that nurtures a happy, healthy relationship.
8) He loves you for you
This might seem obvious, but it’s surprising how often it’s overlooked. Many people find themselves in relationships where they’re loved for who their partner wants them to be, not for who they truly are.
A man who will contribute to the happiest relationship of your life is one who loves you – the real you. He loves your quirks and your flaws, your strengths and your weaknesses. He doesn’t want to change you; he cherishes you as you are.
His love isn’t contingent on you meeting certain standards or fulfilling specific expectations. It’s unwavering, unconditional, and pure.
In a world that constantly tells us we’re not enough, having someone who believes we’re more than enough just as we are is a rare gift.
So hold onto a man who loves you for being uniquely, wonderfully you. That’s the kind of love that creates the happiest relationships.
Conclusion
In the quest for a happy relationship, it’s essential to remember that it’s not about finding a perfect man but one who contributes positively to your life and wellbeing.
A man who respects you, communicates effectively, values your independence, embraces conflict, appreciates the small things, is authentically flawed, makes you feel safe, and loves you for you.
These traits, backed by psychology, contribute to a relationship of love, respect, and happiness. Remember, you deserve nothing less.
For more insights on finding happiness in relationships and overcoming codependency, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.
Here’s to finding love that adds to your life,
Tina Fey.
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